Sunday, October 6, 2019

Who was John Collier, and what role did he play in creating a New Deal Research Paper

Who was John Collier, and what role did he play in creating a New Deal for Native People - Research Paper Example John Collier became commissioner of Indian affairs in 1933 as appointed by President Roosevelt. Under Collier’s governance, federal policies had sweeping and permanent changes in favor of the Indians. One of these federal policies was the Indian Reorganization Act of 1934, which was also known as the â€Å"Indian New Deal† or the â€Å"Wheeler-Howard Act†1. The Indian Reorganization Act under Collier made lasting changes in the federal policy concerning Native Americans. One of these changes is ending the allotment of the tribal land to non-Native Americans. Two other changes include the act encouraging tribes to establish their own self-government and building a loan in order to finance tribe members who are putting up a business2. Prior to and aside from becoming a commissioner of Indian affairs, John Collier was also the executive secretary for the American Indian Defense Association, or AIDA, an organization which he himself founded in 1923, in order to fight for the protection of tribal property and religious freedom of Native Americans. Through the institution of AIDA, Collier was able to recommend doing away with the teaching to Indians of only the cultural values of whites. At the same time, it recommended that that Indian Service must provide the youth and their parents the necessary tools that will help them adapt not only to whites but also to Indians3. John Collier also asked Congress for the repeal of the Dawes Severalty Act of 1887. This particular law pressured American Indian tribes to abolish their own community lands and to have individually owned lands instead. The purpose of this was to promote Indian assimilation into the society of American whites. The Bureau of Indian Affairs, which Collier headed in 1933 provided for the successful passing of the Indian Reorganization Act in Congress4. John Collier’s idea of a â€Å"New Deal† for American Indians during his time definitely was all about the betterment o f this particular group of people. He became commissioner of Indian Affairs in 1933 and so helped reform law in favor of the Indians through the Indian Reorganization Act. He was also the founder and executive secretary of the American Indian Defense Association, which issued recommendations on how Indians should be treated and educated. Lastly, he asked Congress to repeal the Dawes Act of 1887 in order to protect the tribal lands of the Indians. Explain French patterns of contact with Native Americans: How did their goals and type of colonization affect the success or failure of relations with Native groups? The French colonizers’ diplomacy and immersion into Native American culture guaranteed the success of their colonization. The French arrived in North America in the 1600s5, and established their colony there. However, unlike the British, who did not respect the natives, the French afforded them with the best treatment as possible. The success of the colonial techniques o f the French that helped them establish New France in Canada was mainly due to their immersion in American Indian culture. The French were very interested in the culture and customs of Native Americans. The French took the time to learn the languages, habits and the ways of the Native American

Saturday, October 5, 2019

Personal Essay with current financial status Scholarship

Personal with current financial status - Scholarship Essay Example We both did think of other options too like securing a loan by mortgaging the house. Unfortunately, for me this is not a viable option due to the ongoing recession. However, I have not let my circumstances affect my determination. I am currently and have been the Drum line Captain of my high school since the last for years and the Los Angeles Unified All District Honor Marching Band (LAUSD) with 300-plus members and we have performed in the Rose Bowl Parade. Apart from this, I was the Vice President of the Physics Club for two years. Leadership is my forte. I have also won many awards including the Music Department Award for â€Å"Outstanding Music Performance,† the Instrumental Music Department Award for three years in a row (2005-2007) and the Arizona State University & The Academy Drum & Bugle Corp Summer Marching Academy in 2007. Our band has performed from 2006-2009 in the Rose Bowl Parade, Band Fest and at Disneyland, the Dodgers 50th Anniversary Opening Night in 2007 an d in 2006 for Hilary Clinton’s ‘Keep America Beautiful’ campaign. I do hope that you understand my situation that there is absolutely no way I will be able to pay my tuition fees and enjoy studying the course of my choice unless I receive some financial

Friday, October 4, 2019

Summary of Articles Heart of Darkness Essay Example for Free

Summary of Articles Heart of Darkness Essay Summary 5 Authoritative Articles â€Å"Racism in Heart of Darkness† Chinua Achebes article  An Image of Africa: Racism in Conrads Heart of Darkness' was basically written about the racism Achebe encountered in â€Å"Heart of Darkness†. Achebe criticizes Joseph Conrad for his racist stereotypes towards the continent and people of Africa. Achebe claims that Conrad spread the image that people imagined rather than portraying Africa in its true form. Africans were shown in â€Å"Heart of Darkness† as savages with no way to speak other than grunting. To Conrad, the Africans were not real characters in his story, but were backgrounds or props. Chinua Achebe responded with his own novel, â€Å"Things Fall Apart†: it was a contrast to Heart of Darkness and comparable works by other European writers. In â€Å"Things Fall Apart†, Achebe tells the story of Okonkwo, an Ibo man who is actually represented as a functioning person. Africans are represented as actual individuals with intelligence and a language, not just one massive conglomerate of dumb thoughtless natives. Their customs are not regarded as crazy and foreign, but as normal everyday life no different than the assortment of Western customs. And the land itself is described as a mix of towns and farms, not a foreign dangerous land. In basically every way, â€Å"Things Fall Apart† challenges typecasts set forward in Heart of Darkness. Overall it is a useful article that contains a good amount of information and I would recommend it to other students. Suzanne Fields wrote an article on the racism in â€Å"Heart of Darkness† she actually defended Conrad. She thought that although, he wrote about racist things he presented in the way that was the norm at the time. She stated that it wasn’t racist because that was how people perceived them not because he had anything against them racially. Suzanne felt that his observations can’t be called racist because that was only how he saw it. It was informative and I would tell other students to read the article because it shows Conrad’s book in a different light than most people do. It was a reputable article written on â€Å"Real Clear Politics† by an actual writer. When Dr. John Laflin wrote an article about the argument that the â€Å"Heart of Darkness† was racist he originally felt it seemed racist, but upon further analysis it isn’t actually racist. He thought when first reading seeing the ord ner and the way he described them as creatures made it seem racist. When he more closely examined the work he noticed that he actually referred to his own people as creatures which showed that all people has animalistic tendencies. He also noted that Conrad did in fact give the natives human qualities. Dr, Laflin showed both sides of the argument on the racism in â€Å"Heart of Darkness† and he made it an easy to read informative work. It definitely was a great article and a good resource. On British/UK fiction Jackie Patrick wrote an article about all aspects of â€Å"Heart of Darkness†. She mentions racism and says it wouldn’t be politically correct in today’s culture, but in Conrad’s time period it was normal and therefore not racist. She says although he alienates the natives from the whites he doesn’t consider them a different species and doesn’t actually see them as animals. She states that in today’s culture that the writing he put forth wouldn’t be acceptable, but in his time period the word ner was historically correct. Although the article was about all aspects of â€Å"Heart of Darkness† she still shows her take on the racism in â€Å"Heart of Darkness†. It was a useful article and was on a reputable site with an easy to use set up. Dr. Leon Litvack compared Achebe’s article on â€Å"Heart of Darkness† to Cederic Watt’s response to the reading. Cederic believed Achebe didn’t read deep enough in to the text and was naive in his understanding of the novel. While Achebe was completely up in arms about the racism portrayed in â€Å"Heart of Darkness† saying that the natives were shown as animals, Watts vehemently fought against those views saying that Conrad gave the natives human qualities. They showed restraint when faced with cannibalism and Kurtz did not show the same self-control. Watts contradicts everything that Achebe wrote and says that Achebe took things out of context and didn’t understand the novel. This article showed two completely different views and compared them giving good information from both sides of the arguments. It would be a good article for students to read because it basically has two articles in one and it compares them.

Thursday, October 3, 2019

Effect of THNPs on Heroin OD Mortality | Methodology

Effect of THNPs on Heroin OD Mortality | Methodology Chapter 2. Methods 2.1 Introduction This chapter contains a precise description of the process used to search and appraise the evidence for this systematic literature review. The search was carried out during August and September 2014. An in-depth description of how evidence and research available related to the PICO question were generated, will be discussed. As mentioned in the previous chapter, the aim of this dissertation is to determine the effect of THNPs to heroin users, on heroin OD mortality. The analysing process of the PICO question, whether THNPs reduces the incidence of fatal heroin OD deaths, will be amplified through a description of the actual search strategy, and the methods used to appraise the retrieved studies. Through specific criteria, a systematic approach was applied in obtaining and selecting the relevant literature. Identified keywords used for the search syntaxes will be presented, together with the databases used for the retrieval of evidence, and the number of hits produced from each database. Search syntax is the relationship of a sequence of words used in a search strategy. A discussion of the inclusion and exclusion criteria set for this systematic review (SR) will follow, together with the methods of appraisal chosen to evaluate the studies. 2.2 Keywords and databases used PICO Element Description Keywords Population Heroin injection users in the community heroin users, injection drug users, drug users, opioid users Intervention Take-home naloxone program take-home naloxone program, naloxone distribution program, Comparison No comparison Outcome Reduced incidence of fatal heroin OD deaths OD reversal, OD prevention, opioid OD prevention, heroin OD prevention, harm reduction According to Timmins and McCabe (2005) the cornerstone of an effective search strategy is the use of proper keywords. A number of keywords were formulated from the PICO question elements, and from the preliminary search of the literature. These were mainly identified from titles and keywords used in articles found from the preliminary search. Table 2.1 below, shows the keywords used in relation to each PICO element. Table 2.1 Keywords developed to describe the PICO framework The main electronic systematic search with the search syntaxes explained further on in this chapter was carried out using different databases accessed from the Hybrid Discovery (HyDi) available from the online library at the University of Malta. Relevant databases were found on HyDi by choosing the category ‘Health Sciences’ and sub-category ‘Nursing’ since the other sub-category is ‘Midwifery’ which is unrelated. Six databases were used to conduct a search for the literature. These were Academic Search Complete, Cumulative Index to Nursing and Allied Health CINAHL Plus with Full Text, Cochrane Central Register of Controlled Trials, and Cochrane Database of SRs; via EBSCO host search engine together with Medline via ProQuest search engine, and Science Direct. In addition to these databases Google Scholar was also utilised, but the search syntaxes combinations could not be used since the search engine does not have an advanced search strategy, a nd the search resulted in large thousands of articles. Therefore simple keywords alone were used to search for any other relevant studies, or to obtain full text versions which are not available in other databases. Strengths and limitations of each database are described below in table 2.2. Database Strength Limitation Academic Search Complete Daily updates Provides full text journals Available only from EBSCO host CINAHL Plus with Full Text Weekly updates Over 950 journals Covers references and abstracts from 1982 onwards Available only from EBSCO host English and American language bias Cochrane Library Cochrane Central Register of Controlled Trials Cochrane Database of SRs Research analyzed using trustworthy methods Large source of literature Up-to-date Complete text reviews Limited by restrictions Medline Records indexed with Medical Subject Heading (MeSHÂ ®) Provides a large source of life sciences evidence needed by health professionals Limited by restrictions Science Direct Provides full text from Elsevier Science journals Provides full text articles Limited by restrictions Google Scholar Free access web based search engine Large amount of results due to lack of an advanced search strategy Table 2.2 Databases strengths Limitations 2.3 Inclusion and Exclusion Criteria For readers to assess reliability and validity of a SR they have to be provided with a set of inclusion and exclusion criteria (Cronin, Ryan, Coughlan, 2007). Furthermore, Torgerson (2003) suggests that a set of inclusion and exclusion criteria are important so that throughout the search, only the articles that will answer the PICO question are extracted while others are eliminated. During the preliminary search it was noted that literature about the subject lacks randomized controlled trials (RCTs’), meta-analysis, and SRs. As shown in figure 2.1, these study designs are found at the top of the hierarchy of evidence as described by Aslam et.al (2012). Hence, all types of study designs were part of the inclusion criteria. Sibbald Roland (1998) said that clinical trials are known to be a gold standard to perform good evidence based practice and although they were in the inclusion criteria, the results were negative since up-to date no RCTs have taken place. Although this is a major limitation for this literature review, one must keep in mind that currently, the first and largest RCT is being carried out as described in chapter 1. Source type selected in all databases was ‘Academic Journals’ since books, newspaper articles, and magazines are not of strong evidence for evidence based healthcare because sometimes they do not have any type of study design, and may be narrative. Each search was limited to English language literature only. Studies that administered intranasal (IN) naloxone were excluded since this method is an off-label method (Doe-Simkins, Walley, Epstein, Moyer, 2009), and in an RCT by Kelly et al. (2005) it was found that IM naloxone was clinically more effective than IN naloxone (6 minutes vs 8 minutes). Table 2.3 and table 2.4 below describe further in detail the inclusion and exclusion criteria respectively. Figure 2.1 The Hierarchy of Evidence Pyramid (adapted from Aslam et al. 2012, p.3) Table 2.3 Inclusion Criteria Inclusion Criteria Rationale Literature had to be in English language Not possible to translate to English Studies published from 1980’s till September 2014 Studies about THN commenced in the 90’s, and so all studies are obtained (Darke Hall, 1997) Involving heroin injection drug users above 18 years of age Since the population are adults injecting heroin, and in all studies found, drug users were of 18 years and above Involving THNP Since this review concerns the outcome of THNP Experimental studies including RCTs’, reviews, observational studies including cohort studies and longitudinal studies To include all study designs and to not eliminate valuable literature Study needed to have an outcome of survival rates or OD reversals associated to THNP If outcomes were different, studies would not answer the PICO question Exclusion Criteria Rationale Studies researching attitudes, views and opinions of health care practitioners providing THN and other stakeholders such as police Outcome of studies unrelated to PICO question Studies about experiences of fatal OD victims where naloxone was not provided to heroin users as a preventive measure of fatal OD Studies had to have THNP studied as a preventive measure rather than other measures Development of instrument tools for THNP evaluation These instruments do not answer the PICO question Users of prescription opiates including methadone Since population is specifically heroin injection drug users Studies including HIV, AIDS, buprenorphine, methadone, and supervising injecting facilities as a main topic For the fact that THNP is the main subject and intervention of this SR Studies were intra nasal naloxone was used Naloxone nasal spray is not yet approved or licensed anywhere in the world Studies where naloxone was not administered by any of the participants The outcome was not attributed directly to naloxone administration Studies not published in English Not possible to translate to English Table 2.4 Exclusion Criteria 2.4 Search Strategy The keywords mentioned in table 2.1 were developed so that each PICO element has its own search syntax as identified by Bettany-Saltikov, (2012). The use of search syntaxes has assisted in narrowing the search to the most relevant studies to the PICO question. Table 2.5 below, shows the search syntax used for each PICO item. PICO element Search syntax number Search syntax Population Search syntax 1 heroin users OR injection drug users OR drug users OR opioid users Intervention Search syntax 2 take-home naloxone program OR naloxone distribution program Outcome Search syntax 3 overdose reversal OR overdose prevention OR opioid overdose prevention OR heroin overdose prevention OR harm reduction OR overdose mortality Table 2.5 Search syntaxes Search syntaxes were combined as described here: Population (syntax 1) AND Intervention (syntax 2) Population (syntax 1) AND Outcome (syntax 3) Intervention (syntax 2) AND Outcome (syntax 3) Boolean logic operator ‘OR’ was used to combine each keyword of each PICO element syntax, while the operator ‘AND’ was used to combine the PICO elements together as described above. In all search fields of the databases used except Google Scholar, ‘In All Text’ was selected for all searches. In Google Scholar the keywords searched independently were ‘take-home naloxone’ and ‘naloxone distribution’. These keywords were searched in titles only, since when searched for anywhere in the article the results were over 50,000 with most of them irrelevant to the dissertation. As shown in table 2.6 below, the defined search resulted in 2,260 articles. After the titles were evaluated whether they fit with the inclusion and exclusion criteria mentioned previously, and removing duplicate articles the search results were reduced to 160 articles by reading through the titles. The abstracts of these 160 articles were read and consequently 25 articles were noted to be directly related to the PICO question addressed in this dissertation, as they all met the inclusion criteria. One of the 25 articles which is a study by Lenton Hargreaves (2000) was not available online for free. The author, Professor Lenton was contacted via e-mail. Fortunately there was an immediate response, and the article was provided for free. However, after reading these 25 articles, 15 were eliminated because they had one or more of the exclusion criteria fit. The remaining 10 articles were identified and had fit all of the inclusion and exclusion criteria and were chosen for the critical a ppraisal of this systematic literature review. Furthermore the search was enhanced by looking up at all the reference lists of the final articles chosen for critical appraisal, but no new studies were found. Identified studies for critical appraisal are the following: Strang et al. (2008), Piper et al. (2008), Tobin, Sherman, Beilenson, Welsh, Latkin (2009), Enteen et al. (2010), Wagner et al. (2010), Bennett, Bell, Tomedi, Hulsey, Kral (2011), Bennett Holloway (2012), Lankenau et al. (2013), Banjo (2014), and Clark, Wilder, Winstanley (2014). In addition to the electronic search, a hand search was done within the University of Malta library which did not produce any results. Table 2.6 below presents the number of hits obtained from each of the databases above and the different search syntaxes combination. Database Keywords Number of hits Academic Search Complete search syntax 1 AND search syntax 2 274 search syntax 1 AND search syntax 3 272 search syntax 2 AND search syntax 3 55 CINAHL Plus with Full Text search syntax 1 AND search syntax 2 7 search syntax 1 AND search syntax 3 114 search syntax 2 AND search syntax 3 10 Cochrane Central Register of Controlled Trials search syntax 1 AND search syntax 2 0 search syntax 1 AND search syntax 3 0 search syntax 2 AND search syntax 3 0 Cochrane Database of SRs search syntax 1 AND search syntax 2 0 search syntax 1 AND search syntax 3 1 search syntax 2 AND search syntax 3 0 Medline search syntax 1 AND search syntax 2 31 search syntax 1 AND search syntax 3 228 search syntax 2 AND search syntax 3 28 Science Direct search syntax 1 AND search syntax 2 532 search syntax 1 AND search syntax 3 485 search syntax 2 AND search syntax 3 145 Google Scholar take-home naloxone, naloxone distribution 78 Total number of literature found = 2,260 Table 2.6 Number of articles found from each search 2.5 Refining of the research question After finding the relevant literature to the original PICO question, and considering properly the population being studied, the research question was duly refined since this systematic literature review will be based on the impact of THNP effect on heroin OD deaths amongst heroin injection drug users. Initial PICO question was: ‘Do naloxone take-home programs provided to drug users in the community reduce the incidence of fatal opioid OD?’ The question was refined to: Do naloxone take-home programs reduce the incidence of fatal heroin OD amongst heroin injection users? The refining of the PICO question was essential since some of the literature concerned prescription opioid users or general drug users, but the reviewer’s main interest is heroin injection users. 2.6 Methods of Appraisal After identifying the relevant studies and refining the PICO question, the next step for this dissertation was to critically appraise the literature. This will be covered in chapter 3. Critical appraisal is the evaluation of strength and quality of research studies in order to deliver evidence-based clinical decisions and after determining the worthiness of different studies through the use of different critical appraisal tools, multiple research findings can be synthesized together to develop evidence-based-practice (LoBiondo-Woods Haber, 2013). Furthermore, Burls (2009) argues that studies being biased can result in false outcomes and conclusions, because they are not composed of an acceptable quality. A bias is an orderly deviation of the results occurring from the way that a study is led, investigated or reported. In light of this, critical appraisal tools were developed to help researchers in identifying valid and reliable studies. Specific critical appraisal tools in the form of checklists are used to analyse different study designs. Commonly used appraisal tools are: Critical Appraisal Skills Programme (CASP) Scottish Intercollegiate Guidelines Network (SIGN) Centre for Evidence Based Mental Health (CEBMH) Critically Appraise Topic (CAT) After studying and considering all of the above methods of appraisal, together with other appraisal tools, it was decided that the CASP appraisal tools are to be used for critically appraising the identified studies relevant to the PICO question. The reason for choosing the CASP appraisal tools is because it is clear, concise, and easy to understand. CASP offers different checklists appropriate for different research designs where one can critically evaluate research through a set of questions and helps in determining the quality of the literature being appraised. At this phase, the studies were also rated and arranged according to the hierarchy of evidence adopted from Aslam (2012) as shown in figure 2.1. 2.7 Conclusion In conclusion, the study’s main objective is to determine whether THNPs reduces the mortality rate of heroin OD. Several keywords were identified from the PICO question elements, and from preliminary search results. These keywords were systematically searched in different databases using different search syntaxes combinations. A set of inclusion and exclusion criteria were then set up in order to get to the studies relevant to the PICO question. PICO question was then refined and then it was decided to use the CASP appraisal tools for evaluating the relevant studies which will be discussed in the next chapter. Words 1763

Wednesday, October 2, 2019

Macbeth :: essays research papers

  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  At the beginning Shakespeare presents Macbeth as a sort of hero. He is presented as a great warrior and loyal servant of the king, Duncan. However, as we progress through the play we see another side of Macbeth. This is the side of evil all powered by his unstoppable lust for power and greatness. We see this lust for power become stronger and stronger until he leaves the whole of Scotland in a terrible state.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  The play starts with the witches talking about Macbeth and what a great warrior he is. In Shakespeare’s time witches were thought of as evil and the fact that they were talking about Macbeth made the audience make the connection between Macbeth and evil. The witches also give the audience the setting of the play and the story so far. They tell the audience about the battle in which Macbeth is fighting and that they will meet Macbeth on his return.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  When the king hears of Macbeth’s heroics in battle he is very pleased and refers to him as â€Å"valiant cousin, worthy gentleman.† The king also presents Macbeth with the title of the Thane of Cawdor. This just adds to Macbeths already great status and shows him to be even more of a hero. This is backed up again by the sergeant who refers to him as â€Å"brave Macbeth† and â€Å"Valour’s minion.† Ross also admires his bravery by referring to him as â€Å"Bellona’s bridegroom.†   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  The first time we see Macbeth is when he arrives on the heath where the witches are settled. Even before Macbeth appeared for the first time we had quite a clear picture of him. The first words Macbeth speaks, â€Å"So fair and foul a day I ne’er have seen† mirror the first words we hear from the witches. When Macbeth meets the witches they seem to know a lot about him and start implanting the idea of becoming king in his mind. Macbeth is taken aback by the witches and their prophecies which suggests that Macbeth has thought about it before and is frightened that his secret has been uncovered.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  When the messengers arrive with the news that Macbeth has earned the title of Thane of Cawdor this acts as a catalyst in his lust for power and quest to become king. The contrast between Macbeth and Banquos attitude towards the prophecies shows how Macbeth has great ambitions and is starting to think about killing the king.

Berlin Diaries Vs.Survival In Auschwitz :: essays research papers

Berlin Diaries vs. Survival in Auschwitz   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  The two books Berlin Diaries by Marie Vassiltchikov and Survival in Auschwitz by Primo Levi both chronicle World War II from two different perspectives. They are both personal accounts from each author’s actual experiences. The two books have different formats, points, facts, and actualities. For example, Berlin Diaries is in actual diary format, and Survival in Auschwitz is in story format. I found that Berlin Diaries was harder to read because of the format, where Survival in Auschwitz was easier to follow. Also both stories were taken from two very different points of view. Marie Vassiltchikov was a Russian aristocrat that fled Russia and was seeking refuge in Germany. Primo Levi was an Italian Jew who was captured by the Nazis and taken to a concentration camp. Vassiltchikov was free, she lived a restricted life, but she still had her freedom. Levi was a prisoner; he lived a captive slave life and had no liberties or freedoms. This difference seems to b e the most consequential. They led such different lives. Levi was the absolute bane of the Nazi existence, as they were to him. In contrast, Vassiltchikov actually worked for the Nazis; granted to have the freedom that she did, that’s where she had to work. But still, Vassiltchikov had freedom, how much more different could one get from being a Jewish prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp, as Levi was. There are so many points to this major contrast that it almost encompasses the entire concept of comparing and contrasting he two.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  While there could not be anything more opposite than having freedom and being a prisoner, there were still other differences that had no regard to Vassiltchikov and Levi’s actual living conditions. Missy (Vassiltchikov) originally was fleeing the Russian army. They would have killed her for being an aristocrat. Primo’s danger was always from the Nazis. His Jewish â€Å"race† was his mark of death. As mentioned above, Missy was a Russian aristocrat; Primo was from the working class of Italy. Generally their demographic backgrounds could not get much different either. Religion was also a major and blinding difference. Also as mentioned above Primo was a Jew and Missy was Christian. This difference is what separated them further in Missy’s freedom and Primo’s captivity.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Another difference that played a huge role in each book was the actual placing of each story. Berlin Diaries Vs.Survival In Auschwitz :: essays research papers Berlin Diaries vs. Survival in Auschwitz   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  The two books Berlin Diaries by Marie Vassiltchikov and Survival in Auschwitz by Primo Levi both chronicle World War II from two different perspectives. They are both personal accounts from each author’s actual experiences. The two books have different formats, points, facts, and actualities. For example, Berlin Diaries is in actual diary format, and Survival in Auschwitz is in story format. I found that Berlin Diaries was harder to read because of the format, where Survival in Auschwitz was easier to follow. Also both stories were taken from two very different points of view. Marie Vassiltchikov was a Russian aristocrat that fled Russia and was seeking refuge in Germany. Primo Levi was an Italian Jew who was captured by the Nazis and taken to a concentration camp. Vassiltchikov was free, she lived a restricted life, but she still had her freedom. Levi was a prisoner; he lived a captive slave life and had no liberties or freedoms. This difference seems to b e the most consequential. They led such different lives. Levi was the absolute bane of the Nazi existence, as they were to him. In contrast, Vassiltchikov actually worked for the Nazis; granted to have the freedom that she did, that’s where she had to work. But still, Vassiltchikov had freedom, how much more different could one get from being a Jewish prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp, as Levi was. There are so many points to this major contrast that it almost encompasses the entire concept of comparing and contrasting he two.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  While there could not be anything more opposite than having freedom and being a prisoner, there were still other differences that had no regard to Vassiltchikov and Levi’s actual living conditions. Missy (Vassiltchikov) originally was fleeing the Russian army. They would have killed her for being an aristocrat. Primo’s danger was always from the Nazis. His Jewish â€Å"race† was his mark of death. As mentioned above, Missy was a Russian aristocrat; Primo was from the working class of Italy. Generally their demographic backgrounds could not get much different either. Religion was also a major and blinding difference. Also as mentioned above Primo was a Jew and Missy was Christian. This difference is what separated them further in Missy’s freedom and Primo’s captivity.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Another difference that played a huge role in each book was the actual placing of each story.

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Succubus Shadows Chapter 6

I awoke to the smell of eggs and bacon. For a moment, I had the strangest sense of d? ¦j? ¤ vu. When Seth and I were first getting to know each other, I'd crashed at his place after too much to drink. When I had woken up, I'd discovered a full breakfast spread in his kitchen. A few moments later, reality sunk in. There was no desk or bulletin board of book notes, no teddy bear in a University of Chicago shirt. It was my own dresser that looked back at me, my own tangled pale blue sheets wrapped around my legs. With a sigh, I clambered out of bed and walked out to the kitchen, wondering what was going on. To my astonishment, it was Roman playing chef at my stove, both cats sitting at his feet – no doubt hoping for a bit of dropped bacon. â€Å"You cook?† I asked, pouring a cup of coffee. â€Å"I cook all the time. You just don't notice.† â€Å"I notice you heating up a lot of frozen food. What's all this?† He shrugged. â€Å"I'm starving. You don't get a lot of time to eat when you're on stalking duty.† I eyed the eggs, bacon, and pancakes. â€Å"Well, I think you'll be good to go for the rest of the day. Maybe the next two days. You sure did make a lot,† I added hopefully. â€Å"No need to be coy,† he said, trying to hide a smile. â€Å"You can have some.† This was the best news I'd heard all day. Of course, I'd only been up for five minutes. Then, last night's events came slamming into me. â€Å"Oh, shit.† Roman glanced up from where he was flipping a pancake. â€Å"Hmm?† â€Å"A funny thing happened last night†¦.† I frowned. â€Å"Well, not so funny†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I explained that mystery force's reappearance last night, as well as my unexpected swim from the other day. Roman listened quietly, the earlier levity rapidly disappearing from his face. When I finished, he dumped his skillet of eggs into a bowl so hard that the bowl shattered. I took an uneasy step back. â€Å"Son of a bitch,† he growled. â€Å"Whoa, hey,† I said. An angry nephilim was nothing I wanted around. â€Å"That's part of a matched set.† He glared at me, but I knew the anger wasn't toward me, exactly. â€Å"Three times, Georgina. This has happened three fucking times, and I wasn't around.† â€Å"Why should you be?† I asked in surprise. My surprise then took an odd turn into outrage. â€Å"You aren't my keeper.† â€Å"No, but some entity is invading my home.† I decided not to point out that it was my home. â€Å"I should be dealing with that, not chasing some boring succubus for Jerome.† â€Å"Ask, and ye shall receive,† a familiar voice suddenly said. Jerome's aura washed over us as he materialized by the kitchen table. â€Å"About time,† snapped Roman, that dark look still on his face. â€Å"I've been waiting forever for you to show up.† Jerome arched an eyebrow and lit a cigarette. â€Å"Forever, huh? It hasn't even been a week.† â€Å"Feels like it,† said Roman. He handed me a plate of food, and I sat quietly at the table, deciding I should wait for this status report to unfold before delivering my latest problems to Jerome. â€Å"You guys should add following Simone to your list of punishments for the eternally damned.† Jerome smiled and flicked his ashes into a vase of gerbera daisies on my table. I wasn't thrilled about that, but at least it wasn't on my floor. â€Å"I take it you've seen no noteworthy activities? Mei reported the same thing.† Roman sat down beside me with his own food, setting the plate down with more force than he needed. I winced, but it didn't break. â€Å"She's done nothing but shop and take victims. Oh, and hit on Mortensen.† Both of Jerome's eyebrows rose this time. â€Å"Seth Mortensen?† I started to ask how many Mortensens he knew, but Roman's next words cut me off. â€Å"Yeah, she's shown up a couple times, attempting some sort of lame seduction.† My anger started to kindle again and then – â€Å"Wait. A couple times?† I exclaimed. â€Å"More than the coffee shop?† Roman looked at me, a brief glint of apology showing through his angry expression. â€Å"Yeah, I didn't have a chance to tell you. She came to the bookstore while you were out with Maddie yesterday. Very nicely timed with your absence.† I slammed my fork down on my plate. Really, it was a wonder I had any dishes left. â€Å"Why the hell didn't you tell me?† â€Å"Because I kind of didn't have the chance, seeing as we had bigger problems!† Jerome had stiffened when Roman mentioned Simone attempting to seduce Seth. The reaction was weird, like he'd been caught by surprise. That was rare for a demon, rarer still for one to show it. Several moments later, he regained his composure, turning his attention to Roman's comment. â€Å"Bigger problems?† â€Å"Georgina's being stalked,† declared Roman. â€Å"Georgina's always being stalked.† Jerome sighed. â€Å"What is it this time?† He kept his features neutral, but as we explained the situation, I saw something spark in his eyes†¦some sort of interest. At the very least, speculation. Silence fell when Roman and I finished our story. I glanced at him, both of us waiting for my overlord to offer some sort of explanation. â€Å"Your job with Simone is done,† Jerome said at last. â€Å"Thank God,† said Roman. â€Å"You're going to follow Georgie instead.† â€Å"What?† Roman and I exclaimed in unison. â€Å"Same deal,† added Jerome. â€Å"Invisible, no signature. Except when you're here, of course. Most know you two are roommates. It'd be odd if you disappeared off the face of the earth.† The last couple times that siren song had shown up, I'd desperately wanted Roman. I should have been glad to have him now, which is why the outrage that followed next was completely irrational. â€Å"But he needs to follow Simone!† â€Å"Oh?† asked Jerome. â€Å"Pray tell why? She's made no contact with anyone from Hell. Either she is here for innocent reasons, or she's too good at hiding her reports.† â€Å"But†¦but†¦she's following Seth. We need to figure out why!† â€Å"I don't think it takes a genius to deduce why,† said Jerome dryly. â€Å"We have to stop her, though.† The demon snorted. â€Å"Georgina, do you have any idea how much I don't care about your ex-boyfriend? There's more in this universe than your absurd love life – or lack of one.† I flinched. â€Å"Especially since he's sleeping with someone else now. If he's so in love with her now, Simone shouldn't be an issue. And don't glare at me like that,† he added. â€Å"You already screwed his soul over when you fucked him last spring. Simone won't make any difference.† I gritted my teeth. â€Å"I still don't think – â€Å" â€Å"No.† Jerome's voice was hard, and he was using that tone you didn't argue with. He turned his attention to Roman. â€Å"You're done with Simone. You're with Georgie now. Understood?† Roman nodded, not sharing my outrage. â€Å"Understood. Do you know what this is? What's happening to Georgina?† â€Å"I've got a few ideas,† Jerome growled. And like that, he vanished. â€Å"Son of a bitch,† I said. Roman swallowed a bite of egg and looked remarkably relaxed, compared to his earlier state. â€Å"Was that a general statement of frustration or a slander on Jerome?† â€Å"Both. Why do you look so pleased all of a sudden? You were ready to go on a rampage earlier.† â€Å"Because I'm done with Simone. And I get to chase better prey now.† â€Å"And because you don't care about Seth at all.† â€Å"That too.† I stared at my food without really seeing it. My appetite was gone. â€Å"I need to see him. I need to see her and find out if she's following him.† â€Å"No good can come of that,† warned Roman. I didn't answer. My mood had crashed. I was grateful for Roman's protection now, but in a lot of ways†¦well, I wanted to put Seth before myself. I wanted to defend him from†¦what? Having his life shortened by a succubus? Having his soul further darkened? Or were my motives more selfish†¦did I just not want him to sleep with another woman? Accepting him and Maddie was hard enough†¦and yet, if Simone did woo him, would that break up the impending marriage? No, I decided, Seth would stay true to Maddie. He wouldn't cheat on her. Wouldn't he? a nasty voice in my head asked. He cheated with you†¦. â€Å"Damn it. I wish you wouldn't look like that.† I glanced up at Roman. â€Å"Huh?† â€Å"That pathetic look on your face is killing me.† He turned his gaze downward, moving eggs around his plate. With a sigh, he looked back up. â€Å"I know where Seth will be today. But I don't know if Simone will be there.† My eyes widened. â€Å"Where?† Roman hesitated only a moment later. â€Å"The art museum. He mentioned it to Maddie yesterday†¦. Some exhibit he wanted to see that she doesn't. He was going to swing by there today. I'm not sure of the time, but Simone might have overheard. If so, it'd be the perfect time.† I stood up, and my appearance instantly shifted, ready to go. Hair styled long and wavy. Jeans and a T-shirt. Makeup perfect. â€Å"Well, let's go. We need to stake the place out.† â€Å"Whoa there, speedy. Some of us can't get ready that fast. And some of us aren't done eating.† I sat back down, not bothering to hide my impatience. He ate on, pointedly ignoring me and chewing every bite with care. A thought popped up. â€Å"Can you hide my signature? I'll go invisible. Lure her in.† Roman shook his head in exasperation. â€Å"I was hoping you wouldn't think of that.† I expected him to refuse me, but to my surprise, he did indeed hide my immortal signature when we finally set out to the museum. After shifting invisible, I was as incognito as he was by my side. It was a pretty day to be out in downtown Seattle. The morning clouds had burned off, and the sun had nothing to hold it back. It was deceptive, though. The sky was a clear radiant blue, but fall's chill was starting to finally take its grip. So while the weather looked gorgeous through windows, a coat was required once outside. The Seattle Art Museum – or, as it was affectionately know by locals, SAM – was massive, and its regular collection held exhibits from every place and period imaginable. Roman had told me the exhibit Seth wanted to see was a special one, only in town for a few weeks. It was a display of Late Antiquity jewelry, and I would have wagered good money that Seth was there to do research for Cady and O'Neill. But when we arrived, there was no sign of Seth. Plenty of tourists – even on a weekday – filled the place, wandering aimlessly and pausing to study or read about the pieces. This period of time was near and dear to me, and I couldn't help feeling a little uneasy. It was the era I'd grown up in, the era I'd spent my mortal days in. Seeing those items – rings, bracelets, and necklaces – was surreal. Many were from the Mediterranean region of the Roman Empire. Sometimes, when I thought about my past, it would make my heart burn. Other times, I felt removed, like I was watching a movie about someone else's life. I'd been studying each piece in detail, intrigued at how some had been polished to brightness and others were corroded with time. A gentle nudge at my shoulder made me look up. I saw no one near me and realized it had been Roman. Turning around, I surveyed the gallery and found what – or rather who – he'd spotted. Seth stood on the opposite side of the room, face thoughtful and inquisitive as he studied one of the cases. A notebook and pen were in his hands. He'd come for research, as I suspected. I studied him with equal fascination. As far as I was concerned, he was as rare and precious to me as any of the jewelry surrounding us. Shit, I thought. I was an idiot if I thought I was over him. Just standing there in the same room, I felt more drawn to him than ever. I backed up to a wall near me, staying out of the way of patrons and simply keeping an eye on Seth, wondering if Simone would show her traitorous face. After a half-hour went by, my impatience grew. It was stupid, I knew. Seth would likely be here all afternoon, and she might arrive later. But†¦suddenly, talking to him seemed more important. I knew it was foolish, knew it was wrong†¦but, well, I'd done more idiotic things in the past. I stepped out of the gallery and into a stairwell that was momentarily empty. It only took a second to go visible again. In my ear, I heard Roman's voice hiss, â€Å"Are you crazy?† â€Å"Keep my signature hidden,† I snapped back. â€Å"If she shows, we'll sense her before she sees me.† An elderly couple came down the stairs just as I finished my words, giving me an odd look. I smiled winningly and held the door open for them. They scurried through. Seth was at a display of Byzantine diadems when I touched his arm. He flinched and turned around, though his shock immediately turned to pleasure when he saw me. Shit, I thought again. Far better if he'd looked dismayed. â€Å"Let me guess,† I said. â€Å"You're planning the perfect heist for Cady and O'Neill.† He smiled. â€Å"They're the good guys.† â€Å"They've been known to break the law,† I pointed out. â€Å"I like to think of it as bending the law. What are you doing here?† I gestured around. â€Å"Revisiting my youth – or what's left of it. The sands of time bury most things, but a few remain.† â€Å"I never thought of that,† said Seth, clearly intrigued. â€Å"This is your era. I should have been coming to you for research.† A vision of us having private study sessions came to mind. I immediately squashed it. â€Å"Better visual aids here. Anything catch your eye?† He pointed at the case of diadems beside him. â€Å"I like these. It's a shame we don't wear stuff like this anymore.† I followed his gaze. â€Å"Not enough bling in the hair nowadays?† He gave me one of those half-smiles. â€Å"No. There's just†¦I don't know. There's a beauty and skill we don't use. Look at that.† He gestured toward one diadem, meant to resemble a crown of gold coins. Little strings of small gold circles hung down, draping through the hair. â€Å"Look at the imperfections. That was handmade, each one of those.† â€Å"Some would call that flawed.† I loved it when Seth got caught up in these philosophical musings. â€Å"That's what makes it great. And anyway, I kind of like the idea of adorning women in crowns and jewels. Call me sexist, but I think the fair sex should be worshipped.† He paused. â€Å"And perfectly entitled to all the rights and opportunities of men.† I laughed and stepped away so that others could approach the case. â€Å"I think you're romantic, not sexist.† A troubling thought came to me, recalling how Maddie had admired pearl tiaras and headbands at the bridal stores yesterday. Modern-day diadems. Would Seth like that? â€Å"Call it what you want,† he said, â€Å"but I just think our civilization has declined when scrunchies have become the prevalent form of hair ornamentation.† We wandered around the exhibits after that, commenting on and analyzing them. I tried not to overthink the situation. I didn't delude myself about whether we could be friends. I didn't wallow in guilt over carrying a torch. I just tried to enjoy the moment. During none of our time together did I feel Simone. Since Roman's senses were stronger, I had to assume he hadn't either. I also suspected he was rolling his eyes over my time with Seth. Seth and I finally reached the last of the exhibit: Byzantine wedding rings. When I saw them, the warm, comfortable feelings that had wrapped around me suddenly turned to ice. I felt the change in Seth too. Most of the rings were of similar design, with a flat circle lying on top of the ring, the circle surface then engraved with some image. My troubled feelings had nothing to do with weddings or any other associations with Maddie. Last Christmas, Seth had had a ring made for me in this style. He hadn't intended it as a wedding or engagement ring. He'd just done it as a gift, knowing the style was part of my past. It was beautiful, and I still had it. It was locked away in a box of treasures I'd kept over the centuries – items too precious to throw out and too painful to look at. Neither of us said anything, and I wondered what he thought about. Was it just the awkward discomfort from memories of an ex-girlfriend? Was it stirring bittersweet feelings similar to the ones churning in me? When he and Maddie had gotten involved, I'd been convinced he'd moved on. Then, after our brief affair in the spring, I'd reconsidered. There were too many times now that he looked at me strangely, too many times that reminded me of when I was his girlfriend and the times he told me he loved me. But his wedding was still moving forward, with no sign of doubt on his part. I didn't know what to think. I'm not sure how long we stood in silence, but Seth broke it. â€Å"Well†¦I guess that's it for the exhibit, huh?† I glanced around as though attempting to determine if we'd seen it all. I already knew we had. â€Å"Yeah, I guess that's it.† He wouldn't meet my eyes, and his whole body radiated nervousness. â€Å"Thanks for the research help. I should get back to the store and put this to good use.† â€Å"Good luck.† His eyes lifted, and I offered a small smile that he returned. â€Å"Thanks.† We parted, and I left the museum, not sure where I was going – only that I had to go someplace where he wasn't. For an hour or so, I'd played make-believe with him, keeping that familiar depression away and allowing myself a small joy. Now, that darkness descended on me†¦and uneasily, I recalled how that mystery force always showed up when I was troubled. That was its lure: comfort when I felt desperate and alone. Roman might be my offense, but I decided then to go for a good defense. I needed distraction. â€Å"You aren't going to like this,† I murmured, assuming Roman was close enough to hear. Distraction wasn't the only thing I needed. I needed a good energy fix. I was sleeping with enough men regularly that I had a pretty consistent supply of energy. Still, being at full power, so to speak, would keep my strength up – which hopefully would increase my mental resolve. Not that sleeping with random men was always cheering. I was in no mood to go hunting for victims in a bar. I needed something slightly easier, something a little less sleazy. Normally those two were mutually exclusive, but I'd come up with an idea while driving home that might accomplish both. There was a twenty-something guy named Gavin who lived in a condo down the hall from me. He was nice enough and had a serious crush on me. He never said or did anything overtly, but it was obvious. He alternated between nervousness and poorly done jokes whenever I was around. He always seemed unwilling to part when we ran into each other in the garage or lobby or whatever. His gaze also spent more time on my cleavage than my eyes. The beauty of it all was that he also had a girlfriend. I didn't know if he'd cheated on her before or just wanted to. That wasn't important at the moment. What was important was that when I showed up at his door after the museum, his girlfriend wasn't around. â€Å"Georgina,† he said, taken aback. â€Å"How†¦how's it going?† â€Å"Not great,† I said, forcing distress into my voice. â€Å"I got locked out of my place and have to wait for my friend to show up with a spare set of keys. Can I wait here for her? I'm afraid if I go outside, it'll rain again.† It was then that Gavin seemed to notice my drenched state, particularly the now transparent white sundress I'd shape-shifted into without a bra. His eyes bugged out, and then he glanced quickly behind him before turning back to the wet, clinging fabric encasing my breasts and their hardened nipples. â€Å"It†¦it rained? But it's so nice out.† That brisk fall sunshine was pouring in through his windows. â€Å"I know,† I said glibly. â€Å"I was kind of surprised too. It was this really fast freak thing that came out of nowhere.† This was apparently so unbelievable that Gavin actually managed to tear himself away from me to once more scrutinize the brilliantly blue sky outside. Finally, deciding not to fight this, he beckoned for me to come in. â€Å"Do you have a T-shirt or anything I can wear?† I asked sweetly. â€Å"I'm freezing in this.† His scrutiny had shifted from my breasts to the very noticeable black thong underneath the dress. I think changing out of the dress was a huge disappointment for him, but he wasn't so socially inept as to refuse me. â€Å"Sure, come on.† I followed him to his bedroom where he dug out an oversized Seattle Mariners T-shirt and a pair of green flannel boxers. He handed them over. â€Å"See if these work,† he said, backing out of the room to give me privacy. â€Å"Thanks,† I said, giving him a winning smile. He managed a nervous one in return just before shutting the door. I crossed my arms and waited a minute, during which an invisible Roman said: â€Å"This is ridiculous. You should have just shown up as a pizza delivery girl.† â€Å"Hey, the wet dress technique is tried and true. Works every time.† Roman sighed. â€Å"Wait in the other room then,† I said. â€Å"This shouldn't take long.† I opened the door and shouted down the hall, â€Å"Hey, Gavin? Can you come help me?† He popped back in, and I couldn't help but notice his dark brown hair was a lot neater than it had been earlier. He'd probably dashed off to the bathroom in a quick grooming attempt to impress me. â€Å"What's wrong?† he asked. I turned around and pushed my hair over one shoulder, showing where the straps of my dress's halter top were tied behind my neck. â€Å"There's a knot here I can't get undone. Can you give it a shot?† He hesitated for only a moment before moving forward to assist. I'd shape-shifted a pretty good knot, and it took him some time to work through it, during which I backed up against him as close as I could. At last, he managed to undo it, pulling the straps apart and releasing them so that I could grab them. I missed, of course, and as the straps fell, so did most of the dress. It went against the laws of physics, seeing as how clingy that wet fabric had been. I caught the dress in a weak attempt at modesty, but not before it almost entirely fell off. Nearby, I heard another exasperated sigh from Roman. I turned to face Gavin, holding the dress against me in a way that completely exposed my chest. His eyes were naturally fixed on it, and I glanced down too, as though trying to figure out what he was looking at. â€Å"Oh, man. I'm wet all over. Do you have a towel? I don't want to get the shirt wet.† â€Å"Uh†¦what? Yeah†¦Ã¢â‚¬  In record speed, he raced to the bathroom and returned with a small hand towel. I decided then not to bother with any more convenient excuses and simply stepped forward, hoping he was smart enough to accept the invitation. He was. Hesitant at first, he slowly ran the towel over my breasts, lingering when it was obvious they were dry. He moved down to my stomach – which he dried pretty quickly – and then to my hips and thighs. I'd long since let my soggy dress fall to the floor and helpfully pulled off my thong so that he could reach every part. He had to kneel to do my inner thighs, and I heard him mutter, â€Å"Oh my God.† I wasn't sure if that was simply because of the situation he was in or because his girlfriend hadn't gone Brazilian. â€Å"You have great hands,† I purred. â€Å"Th-thanks,† he said inanely. He'd just finished my legs and stood up. I took the towel and tossed it on the bed. Catching hold of his hand, I gently stroked it and brought it between my thighs. â€Å"Really great,† I said in an even lower voice. â€Å"Long fingers†¦Ã¢â‚¬  I guided a couple of those fingers into me, and I swear, he gasped louder than I did. After a little more urging, he no longer needed my assistance and began rapidly thrusting his fingers on his own. I pressed to him, moaning as though it were the most amazing experience of my life. I was wetter on the inside than out, and the only resistance he encountered was in how tight I'd made myself. Reaching around his arm, I unfastened his pants and pulled them off in one motion. His erection pointed out at me long and hard and ready. It had probably been that way the moment I showed up at the door. Gripping his shirt I pulled him toward the bed. â€Å"The rest,† I gasped, spreading myself in front of him. â€Å"Let me see how the rest feels.† The hand that had been in me left as he laid himself on top of me. He pushed my thighs apart and thrust in with a force that contradicted his earlier shyness. In fact, his face showed no nervousness whatsoever anymore. He was all eagerness and desire, emitting small grunts each time he shoved himself into me. â€Å"Harder,† I told him, giving him big, passionate eyes. â€Å"I want it harder.† He obliged, increasing the speed and force. After about a minute of this, he shifted up so that he was kneeling. Holding my thighs just below my knees, he spread my legs far apart and leaned in. The new position allowed him to get deeper, and I exclaimed my approval, urging him again to do it harder and harder. Steadily, I felt his life energy begin to flow into me. It was a decent amount, and it felt glorious, spreading through my being and reinvigorating me. With it came his thoughts and feelings, at which point I learned he never had actually cheated on his girlfriend before – but, oh, he'd wanted to plenty of times. She barely crossed his mind at the moment. He was too consumed by me to feel much guilt. The only brief concern he had was that he should have used a condom. That was a regret, but it wasn't strong enough for him to stop, not when I felt this good. I let my cries escalate into small screams and felt him grow closer and closer to coming. My head was getting dangerously close to the headboard, but the roughness of it all was really turning him on. He'd never had the opportunity to just go so wild. Harder and harder he went, thrusting himself in all the way each time. The energy increased by leaps and bounds, and just before the big moment came, I decided to drive home the guilt a little. It made me feel some guilt in return, but at the end of the day, guilt marked the soul, and that was what Hell employed me for. â€Å"Can she do this?† I panted. He was half a second from coming. â€Å"Can your girlfriend take it like this?† The orgasm exploded – and so did he. He pulled out at the last second, not because of what I'd said but because this was his solution to the condom problem. Withdrawal was a horrible safe sex method, but whatever. His body spasmed and he came on my stomach. It was warm against my flesh, and he watched with a perverse fascination. Yet, just before it had happened, I'd felt my dagger hit. He'd been so consumed by lust that he'd been able to block his girlfriend out earlier. My comment had pushed her to the fore-front, but there had been no way he could stop what he was doing by that point. I'd felt the spike of guilt, just as the last burst of life energy sparkled through me. He fell back against the covers, gasping and exhausted. Losing some of your life will do that to you. Whatever thoughts of guilt or satisfaction he felt now were his alone. The towel was still conveniently on the bed, and I used it to clean myself up. I stood up and walked over to the window while he still tried to catch his breath. He'd probably fall asleep in a few minutes. â€Å"Oh, hey,† I said cheerfully. â€Å"My friend's out there with the key.† I picked up the sodden dress and headed for the door. â€Å"Thanks for letting me hang out.†